Well, It's almost an year since I posted anything. But yeah, I'm still here. If you happened to read my previous posts, you would know that I was stuck in a job, trying to get out of it and do something meaningful. I did it. I have quit my job and started on a journey which has the potential to take me where I wanted to go.
For this I had to leave my comfort zone and venture into new horizons. Truth be told, it was scary. Even now I have doubts for future and sometimes, when my day is going bad, I feel that I shouldn't have left the safety net of that job. But the very moment I know that if i hadn't done that, I would've experienced nothing in my life. It wasn't until I left my comfort zone and started living on my own and by myself with least support from others, I came to know so much about people and also myself. I had doubts, self-doubts and distorted view of my ability, both in superior ways and inferior ways. I was sure I could do a lot of stuff and couldn't/won't do a lot other. Some proved to be right. A lot proved to be wrong.
For example, I had idols I revered. They are the most intelligent, never-do-wrong, godly species in my life. This is where I was wrong. When you deify people, you are biased about everything they do. You don't question them, instead you carry out their advice as an order. It wasn't until I spent some time with these role models, I realized that they are also normal people, who took better decisions with their previous experience, whose advice may or may not be good for your situation. You have to grow your spine and start taking decisions based on their advice and learn how to take better decisions rather than relying on them all the time.
There was a point where I thought I was antisocial if not asocial. Once I had to meet and share spaces with other people, I realized I wasn't. I just take some time to get used to people and depending on the compatibility levels, we socialize. I thought I was one of those elite people who can conjure up magical results of anything in the first go, but unfortunately, I am not. I still struggle with completing my work and getting results sometimes. Some days suck and some days can't be anymore better. I am better than some people at somethings and lack everything at some other things in which they are good at. Here I go, I am as normal as any other person is and as abnormal as any other person is.
