Faux Amis.....

A true foe is better than a false friend. A foe never pushes you into any thing uncomfortable. It's only you that burn the furance so hot and then singe yourself. if you maintain your cool, then none can bother you. But false friends are the ones who play with your emotions. They make you feel that you are at a loss if you don't accept what they said and emotionally blackmail you to do things for them. They make us feel like we are so dependent on them and if we distance them, we will be amputated permanently. They are admist us, we have to just notice. But funnily, recognizing them is not easy. Like in films, these won't behave at their worst, or say nasty things. They say good things first and will do anything for you. Soon you will be dependening on them for everything. You're trapped. Even when we realize finally that we are possessed by them, we will not be able to live without them or with them. we are trapped. By the time we recover, we will be impaired in terms of confidence. But this person whom I know doesn't do this intentionally, well, at least I think. She controls others in some way and everyone tend to grow submissive, mostly out of the cultivated manners, and let her rule over. But when does she know that people don't genuinely like to spend time with her? and what happens when she comes to know it?

Work, Money and the Things they buy

       I have always been thinking of switching my career, even before I completed 1 year with the firm. I work in a job which takes up 9 hours in the office and at least 3 hours on the roads due to traffic daily.  And the work is not at all challenging. I'm the kind of person who loves challenges and is debilitated without it. No wonder I feel so immobilized.These days I am so fed up that i don't want to work at all. It's not a problem with the firm because all companies need the same type of work.

       So I've been thinking of quitting the job. But what should i do after quitting? I will be rejoicing first week 'being unemployed'. But, with my mentality,I cannot bear abeyance or stagnation. I grow restless first and then insanity follows. Maybe, I can go into woods like Thoreau and write a book (Okay! I can't do it) or go around the world but what about the bucks needed to do that? Since I won't be getting my paycheck, how will i survive? My thoughts turned to earning passive income but that amount is far too less to live with, let alone pay for traveling.

       I never had myself attached too much with money but the thought of not getting paycheck is conjuring up nightmares of being a pauper. Everyone says that it's hard to give up job, even if it sucks. For the first time in my life, I am believing it now. And the saddest part is that paycheck is responsible for it rather than the job itself.

When Ignored...

      Ever felt ignored? Ignored by the same people, who have been constant companions and supporters? I am not talking only of people who are friends but also about the people who have taught us how to live in this world. I am ignored, not by the people who never regarded me, but by those who made my beautiful memories in the past.

     I am always Miss popular in high school. I owe that to the fact that I am always an A+ student with lots of extracurricular activities. Even students of other schools knew about me, as I always got back to school from any competition with laurels, 90% of the time. As usual, me and my friend, who shares a common interest and background, were not only popular kids, but competent in acad's. Though we were popular, we weren't proud. Everyone liked us because we were brainy and also amiable. Everyone wanted to be friends with us and were, then. Once my studies were over, I left for college. But my heart didn't, it was still stuck in my high school. After sometime, I went to my school. I was excited to meet all the teachers who taught me and my juniors. I went but the reaction of people wasn't good. I taught that they were busy with their work. Later I went again to school annual day despite not getting the invitation. I was supposed to get an invitation because I was in the top five academically and also for excellence in other activities. But I wasn't invited. Still I went hoping that I get to talk to the people I know. I went there and for the first time in my life, I regretted doing something like that, going for something without invitation. I got no soul to talk to. Even when i tried to make a conversation, everyone behaved as if I am a passerby and a total stranger. That's my first experience with the worst human behavior and my last trip to school. It happened more than 10 years ago but the wound is still fresh.

        A few weeks back, I met a person who was a fatherly figure in my college days. I was with my college friends and we came across him. I was happy to see him and started talking. But he consciously ignored me replying me, sometimes, with a yes or no. I left after a few minutes.

       My high school days are supposed to be sweet memories, especially when I achieved so much then. So are my college days, and these people. But I never thought that these people, who made my life, have turned my sweet memories to bad dreams. Even now, when I pass by my school I prefer not to look at it. I'll be reminded of only the way how people behaved with me later. A pang of remorse sweeps over me as to why I ever trusted these people and got hurt, as an aftermath. This 'father figure' is now added to this list. I don't know why people behave like that. I can understand if people, who always hated me, don't speak to me. But what about the people who were enjoying everyone's attention by being friends or mentors, when we were a success? A problem can be solved if there's a reason or a cause. But is there a reason to this? If there is, what is it? Is it their narrow mindedness or is it something else?