I am a perfectionist, or at least I think I am. I'll drive myself throughout the day and then judge myself at the end. I don't need an enemy to show where I went wrong because I am my biggest enemy and my worst fear. I get a 'well, okay' when I succeed but the other times, my other self goes into a tirade. There will be some days when I am afraid to have a free moment which can make me think and contemplate. It's like trying to escape an abusive person, the worst part being that the person is our 'self'.
A few days ago I read an article on self-acceptance and then I realized that am being too harsh on myself. After-all, my habits/thoughts are product of the surrounding people and environment. I can make myself better but I cannot drive myself to insanity by pushing myself harder and harder, comparing with others. That thought had hit me with so much force that in the past few days, I feel like heaven inside myself. I am doing what I can but not what an Einstein or Michelangelo will do. As of now, that abusive person is gone. I hope it's permanent, if not, I know what to do. 
No comments:
Post a Comment