This day is filled with thoughts....not about the thickness of thin things surrounding me but about life, as a bigger picture.
The other day I had a dream about being chased by a dino. Out of curiosity, I googled what that might mean. The interpretation went something like this : Your personality is changed and some aspects are no longer 'you' anymore. Either you are getting away from a past aspect in you or some past event is haunting you now.
I am not sure if this is right or wrong but true that I have changed a lot. Change is always good, people say but in my case, it's not so good. Back then, when I was still studying and learning things, I had enjoyed being myself. I enjoyed working on things, that stimulated me, for hours and yet I was not tired. I enjoyed daydreaming and felt the magic of those fantasies wholeheartedly. There were things that bored me but still those weren't the things that drove me through the day. Some days I felt skipping some things, even the things which interested me, because at times I felt that I was doing 'too much of it'. Once I am out of hangover, I would start again! As I see now, I would picture myself as obssessed, arrogant and passionate one, then.Those were really good times!
If i look at myself now, I am not that anymore. I have lost that sparkle, zeal for everything. I am a obedient employee. I have no passion for everything, not even paycheck. i don't work on something for long and neither do I take breaks from it to recover from the 'hangover'. I feel that I can be something great, less often now. Fortunately, that feeling still exists. I am not as daring as I was then but I had accepted some things as they are. Acceptance is a good thing but not in this case. Accepting the false notion that one is not worthy or is useless is very dangerous.
The other day I had a dream about being chased by a dino. Out of curiosity, I googled what that might mean. The interpretation went something like this : Your personality is changed and some aspects are no longer 'you' anymore. Either you are getting away from a past aspect in you or some past event is haunting you now.
I am not sure if this is right or wrong but true that I have changed a lot. Change is always good, people say but in my case, it's not so good. Back then, when I was still studying and learning things, I had enjoyed being myself. I enjoyed working on things, that stimulated me, for hours and yet I was not tired. I enjoyed daydreaming and felt the magic of those fantasies wholeheartedly. There were things that bored me but still those weren't the things that drove me through the day. Some days I felt skipping some things, even the things which interested me, because at times I felt that I was doing 'too much of it'. Once I am out of hangover, I would start again! As I see now, I would picture myself as obssessed, arrogant and passionate one, then.Those were really good times!
If i look at myself now, I am not that anymore. I have lost that sparkle, zeal for everything. I am a obedient employee. I have no passion for everything, not even paycheck. i don't work on something for long and neither do I take breaks from it to recover from the 'hangover'. I feel that I can be something great, less often now. Fortunately, that feeling still exists. I am not as daring as I was then but I had accepted some things as they are. Acceptance is a good thing but not in this case. Accepting the false notion that one is not worthy or is useless is very dangerous.
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